Fallen to Grace Read online

  Fallen to Grace

  Celestial Downfall, Volume 1

  A.J. Flowers

  Published by A.J. Flowers, 2017.

  All Persons Fictitious Disclaimer:

  This book is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and situations within its pages and places or persons, living or dead, is unintentional and co-incidental.

  Fallen to Grace Copyright © 2016 A.J. Flowers

  All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system.

  Published in the United States.

  Version 3

  Check your Device’s Library settings to verify you have received the latest version of this novel for the best reading experience.

  ASIN: B01LXM5NZ7

  This title has been registered with the Library of Congress

  LCCN: 2016918591

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  DEDICATION

  Series Order

  CHAPTER ONE | A Deal

  CHAPTER TWO | A God's Choice

  CHAPTER THREE | Inner Sanctum

  CHAPTER FOUR | Acceptance

  CHAPTER FIVE | Protector

  CHAPTER SIX | Meretta's Key

  CHAPTER SEVEN | Empty Lessons

  CHAPTER EIGHT | Invitation

  CHAPTER NINE | Queenly Duties

  CHAPTER TEN | Propriety

  CHAPTER ELEVEN | Sister Wives

  CHAPTER TWELVE | Under the Moonlight

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN | A Legion Comes

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN | The Hallowed's Table

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN | Gabriel's Plea

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN | Dark Coma

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN | Into the Night

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN | Dark Assassin

  CHAPTER NINETEEN | Traitor

  CHAPTER TWENTY | Careful What You Wish For

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE | First Flight

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO | Hope

  Series Order

  Also by A.J. Flowers

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  DEDICATION

  This book is dedicated to all the angels in my life.

  Series Order

  Lucifer’s Fall: Short Story Prequel (FREE!)

  Fallen to Grace : Book 1

  Rise to Hope: Book 2

  Stand for Justice: Book 3

  Manor Saffron: Bonus Full-Length Standalone Novel

  CHAPTER ONE

  A Deal

  And imperfect creatures sprouted among the angels like weeds. The wingless children were cast out, abandoned to the lands below.

  But imperfection seeds imperfection, and the angels were already lost to lust and greed.

  Only one will be their savior...or their reckoning.

  AZRAEL gazed at the child who was so perfect, so serene, she could have been an angel...if she’d still been alive.

  Angels aren’t real.

  The mantra sent familiar doubt creeping across her mind. Azrael wanted to believe in angels, just as much as she wanted to believe being a hybrid wasn’t fatal. Yet, how could she deny the lifeless bi-colored eyes staring into hers? This was an omen, a promise of what awaited a soul that couldn’t pick a side of good or evil.

  Azrael swallowed and faced the souls who fancied themselves good. A sea of Windborn boys towered over her and her charge. Their glassy, blue eyes shone with judgment and righteousness. The tension of their insurmountable confidence singed the air like a foul stench. Their unflinching stares said they’d done the right thing, even as their hands dripped with the blood of their murder.

  Azrael only had one blue eye with which to sympathize and she squeezed it closed. Her green eye saw the evil of what they had done and she made sure to keep it wide open. With her blue eye securely shut, she saw the truth: they had done this for their own power and greed. They couldn’t have another hybrid gaining favor with the Queen.

  She opened her mouth to tell them what she saw, but hopelessness crept in with the stinging realization they could never understand. So she screamed, a guttural, primal ignition of rage.

  The fear in their eyes would have to do.

  “You’re pathetic,” a young boy shouted from the edging crowd, gaining confidence once her scream had faded.

  “She deserved it!” another chimed in.

  Michael separated from the group, pulling at the long layers of his azure robes to keep the edges from touching the bloodied ground. “Azrael, you can’t blame them. Hybrids are unpredictable, violent. The demon had taken hold of her.”

  Azrael snarled. “Stop trying to justify murder! You think just because you don’t have a demon whispering in your ear, that makes you perfect?”

  The boys fidgeted for the first time, waiting to see what Michael would do. To be perfect would be to offer the other cheek, but how could he allow Azrael to speak to him that way?

  Worse than a blow, Michael offered a smile and tilted his head in pity as he would to an unruly child. He truly believed what he was doing was right and Azrael couldn’t know any better.

  Enraged, Azrael slit her blue eye open and faced him. Emotion swarmed, the good in her trying to strengthen Michael’s argument. The child had made a deal with a demon. The child was lost. The child—Azrael squeezed her blue eye shut again.

  Michael drew closer and she flinched as he placed a cold hand on her bruised cheek. He clicked his tongue in disapproval as he angled her face. “You’re not going to win a suitor with your eye swollen shut.”

  She recoiled from his touch. “To hell with suitors.”

  She wanted to say who’d struck her, but she didn’t know. It could have been any of them when she’d found the child dead. She’d gone into a blind rage, but now she felt deflated, defeated.

  The other Windborn boys had already begun to disperse as Michael continued to stroke her face. “Azrael...”

  She ignored him.

  The child’s mismatched eyes stared back at her, unblinking, one soft blue, and the other a dazzling green. There was no one left who could see the world in both realms anymore. Azrael was truly alone.

  Azrael collapsed to her knees and took the child’s cold hand as she swallowed down a sob. She slit both eyes open, the conflicting question if this was right or wrong helped to keep her from crying.

  “Azrael, listen. You’re one of the lucky ones. You weren’t born with a dark gem to tempt you. Your demon left you alone, and in two more years you’ll have a husband and life with all of this left behind.”

  Her demon? Michael said the stinging words as if she’d chosen to be taken by evil. Being a hybrid innately meant she hadn’t picked a side. The fact that a demon had seen fit to tempt her to his side wasn’t her fault.

  “And what of your demon?” she countered.

  Michael blinked. “Only women can encounter evil and survive. I have no demon, or I’d be dead.”

  She didn’t mean a literal demon. She’d meant his constant justification and remorselessness for his actions. But he’d never understand... Not with those dead, blue eyes of his.

  Michael knelt at her side, pressing his hand against the small of her back and stroking his thumb across her spine. “I’m sorry for your pain.”

  Azrael swayed as she digested Michael’s words. They sounded genuine. Did he mean it? He’d never been her ally. More like an admirer, or perhaps one of those people who collected weird bugs. She knew he was just waiting for her to fall dead one day so he could pin her like a moth to his booklet of freaks.

  Azrael reached over the young girl’s face and swept her eyelids closed. H
er fingers left dark streaks of blood in their path and she shivered. “Slashing her throat hardly seems necessary. Why didn’t you wait for me? Maybe I could have gotten through to her.”

  “She’d used her gem and asked the demon to make her human. The price was her soul to even make the attempt. What we...disposed of...was not human—or Windborn. There was nothing you could have done.” The certainty of his words left no room for debate.

  Azrael’s eyes misted. “She asked to be human?” Azrael couldn’t think of anything more evil than a human. Surely that should have satisfied the demon that the child had picked a side. Yet, if the demon couldn’t make it come true, then Windborn were much farther from human than she’d thought.

  Michael’s brow furrowed. “She should have asked to be an angel, then perhaps the demon could have granted it.”

  Azrael scoffed. “Angels aren’t real.” Her own words sounded sour and hollow. If angels were real, where were they now?

  Michael’s brow unfurled as it arched at her doubt. “Just because we don’t have wings doesn’t mean we aren’t. How can you believe in demons without believing in angels? What do you imagine your blue eye represents?”

  “Freaks,” Azrael answered without hesitation, persisting in telling herself the lie. “We’re just freaks. If angels existed they would protect us from demons. They’d keep the demons away from the children drifting down from heaven only to become enslaved and murdered in this wretched place.” Azrael’s voice went shrill and she wrapped her hands around herself and trembled. “But no one protects us. No one...”

  Michael sighed and rose, leaving a trail of sickening, scarlet-painted footprints in his wake.

  “You know,” he said over his shoulder, “I’m glad you don’t have a gem to tempt you. Wouldn’t want to see which side you’d pick given the choice.” He scratched the tip of his nose with his thumb before turning and leaving her alone with her failure.

  While Azrael heaved with grief, the faint patter of footsteps and scent of lavender kept her from breaking down into a fit of sobs. Her only friend in the world always found her when she was about to prove Michael wrong and make use of her demon’s bond. Sometimes she wanted to pick evil’s side simply out of spite.

  “Meretta,” Azrael whispered. She twisted herself to look up into Meretta’s sweet face. Her exquisite green eyes stared back, confident and calm. Had she really chosen evil as a child? Had her demon made her so strong?

  Meretta crouched and wrapped her arms around Azrael’s chest. “I came as soon as I heard. I’m so sorry...”

  Azrael shivered as she stared at the child and drew strength from Meretta’s warmth. The child was nothing but a porcelain doll lying broken on the ground.

  “Are you all right?” Meretta asked.

  “No.”

  Meretta squeezed. “You will be.”

  It was something about Meretta’s disassociation and confidence that set Azrael on edge. How could she be so calm? How could she act like this was okay?

  Azrael yanked off Meretta’s arms and jerked to her feet. “No, I won’t. You’re not a hybrid. You don’t know what it’s like,” she snapped, turning to glare into her perfectly matching green eyes.

  The hurt and sadness that covered Meretta’s face made Azrael regret her flare of anger. Meretta wasn’t to blame... She was only angry with herself.

  Azrael’s shoulders slumped and she cast her gaze to her feet. She didn’t say a word as she turned and followed the halls back to their rooms.

  Meretta trailed after her. After a few quiet steps, the halls came alive with hurried whispers and clinking of metal. Servant girls rushed toward the bloodied scene with white towels and incense. A silvered bowl drifted smoke in their path as it dangled from the last girl’s hand on a chain. The sharp sting of myrrh made Azrael gag and filled her with contempt. Myrrh: an herb to ward off evil spirits. She clenched her fists as they walked. Ridiculous.

  Once they reached their chambers, Meretta accompanied Azrael inside.

  A servant girl paused fluffing the pillows at their entrance. Seeing Azrael’s bloodied hands and swollen eye, she hurried to the basin.

  “That’s not necessary. We’re Windborn, not invalids. We can wash ourselves.” Meretta nodded to the door.

  The servant girl curtsied before taking her leave.

  Azrael thumped onto the plush bed and shivered despite the cheery sunlight sweeping in from the window. If they had been male, perhaps they would have been given a fireplace. But as females, they weren’t trusted with such volatile elements. Those touched by demons surely should never be left to their own devices around open flames.

  Azrael salvaged a peach cashmere blanket from the endless supply of pillows and wrapped it around her shoulders.

  Meretta didn’t say a word as she soaked a towel in the basin and wrung it. She knelt at Azrael’s side and wiped the blood from her hands.

  “I didn’t mean what I said—” Azrael began.

  “I know,” Meretta said, snapping her emerald gaze to hold Azrael still. Meretta had said it all, and now the words hung between them, unspoken, but well known. It’s not your fault. Hybrids are volatile, I know. It’s difficult for you to accept logic. It’s impossible to come to conclusions when your soul rips you in two different directions. You can’t help it.

  They were true, and Meretta understood, but it hurt to hear. So both girls were silent until Meretta seemed satisfied, and she resumed her meticulous washing of each individual finger.

  The previously pristine towel was now turning pink and Azrael felt queasy. “Do you believe in angels?” she asked, looking for a distraction.

  Meretta peered up with a smirk. “Angels? Since when do you talk about angels?”

  Azrael shrugged. “If demons are real, why aren’t angels?”

  “Well, I think what we call a demon isn’t a demon at all. It’s just a creature we don’t yet understand. People like to make up stories.”

  It was so like Meretta to brush aside tough questions with simple justifications. The perk of being what she was, a female Windborn, one who knew what she wanted from her very conception.

  “I can’t live like this,” Azrael blurted. “I’m just a freak with mismatching eyes and a demon gem calling out to me every day.” Azrael buried her face in her damp hands. “I’ve only two years left until I’m sold to that bastard of a suitor just because the Queen can’t find an honorable place for someone like me. Is this my fate? Should I be doomed to death or servitude?”

  Meretta peeled Azrael’s fingers away. “Stop this nonsense. Don’t let Michael get to you with his talk of angels and demons, and certainly don’t despair for your future.” Her features turned sympathetic and soft. “No matter where you go, I’ll find you and be there for you.” She squeezed Azrael’s hands with assurance. “No matter what. I promise.”

  Azrael wanted to draw on Meretta’s strength as she always had, but this time was different. A child was dead and there was no coming back from that. Azrael was so tired of not acting, but taking in the abuse from the Windborn, taking in Meretta’s calm acceptance of their fate to be sold like common slaves simply because of the strangeness of their birth. Hybrid or not, she wasn’t the only one in Manor Saffron who wondered what would become of their future.

  The halls remained silent and a single bird’s song drifted through the window. Even its melody sounded melancholy and somber. Sitting there in utter hopelessness, with nothing but a grim future and a horrid past to call her own, Azrael broke.

  “I won’t stand for this,” she said and pulled away, glancing at the door before rushing to the oak chest at the end of the bed. She kneeled and gave Meretta a curt nod. “Help me.”

  Meretta raised a brow, but didn’t protest and stepped around to the other side of the chest.

  Azrael wrapped her fingers under the wooden rim and heaved. It scraped against her palms and even though the wood was polished, small cracks from age and use pricked her skin.

  When the chest h
ad been pushed from the bed frame, Azrael dove to the ground and began clawing at the floorboards.

  “What on Terra are you doing?” Meretta asked.

  Azrael pried the panel off and revealed a dusty, black box. “Something I should have done a long time ago.”

  Meretta fell to her knees and her dress plumed around her like a cloud. “Demons are tricksters. There’ll be a catch.”

  Azrael straightened. “I know.”

  Meretta wrung her hands. “Are you sure—”

  Azrael ripped off the lid and stared into the depths of the black gem. “I’m sure.”

  Cupping her hands around the dark gem, Azrael brought it to her face. Her breath fogged against the soft glass and an ancient voice whispered in reply. Azrael thought of the child lying dead in the hall, the blood drying around her tiny frame. She couldn’t stand by and do nothing any longer. Perhaps to bring good into the world, she needed to mix a little evil in it first.

  Azrael smashed her hands together, breaking the hollow gem and a shockwave cracked through the room. Meretta shrieked and shielded her eyes. For a moment, Azrael thought Meretta would bolt and leave her alone to deal with the demon. Instead, Meretta lowered her trembling hand and pressed her lips together in defiance. She wasn’t going anywhere.

  The room dimmed and Meretta took Azrael’s hands into her own. No turning back now.

  Dear Azrael, have you finally surrendered? A slithering voice asked.

  “I have a proposal for you,” Azrael said aloud to the demon, and even she was amazed how she kept her tone steady and confident. As long as the demon couldn’t hear her pounding heart, she might be able to strike a favorable deal.

  A cackle filled the chamber and the blood drained from Meretta’s face. I’m listening, the demon said.

  “Give me an opportunity to change my fate to be sold as a slave,” said Azrael as she squeezed Meretta’s hands for strength. “One opportunity. I don’t wish for anything more or less than that.”